Toxic relationships - how to avoid the downward spiral

Something no one enjoys, a negative relationship. White lies, fights big or small, a constant battle for balance and joy. They are so common these types of relationships, they can begin this way, or they can after time develop this way. The one thing I know is that most negative relationships have the chance to turn around and really create something special.

If I talk about that today it is because I experienced that negative relationship for 8 years … fighting everyday for everything or nothing. Having that feeling of whatever I could do It was never enough. So one day I was (literally) just so sick of it so I decided to leave for good. Today some of my friends are experiencing that and I decided to share my experience for that reason.

But before I get into it, I want you to know one thing, and remember this as it’s important. You cannot change another person, you can change your own situation and circumstance by changing within yourself. Change begins within you, and often times when we do this we create more often than not a ripple effect that influences others around us to change- as good energy is contagious. The best type of contagious out there.

He said this, she said that. But why doesn’t he understand? Why doesn’t he tell me how he feels, why did he keep doing it when I told him how I felt about it? She puts pressure on me, she doesn’t trust me, she’s always nagging, why is she like this, where’s the trust, I work hard and do everything yet I feel this way. Sounds familiar? Perhaps once upon a time this was you, perhaps it’s you now, or if you’re not careful with your inner thoughts and your actions now in your relationships and life perhaps it could be you in the future. But that’s why I am here writing to you today- to ensure this doesn’t happen in the future and for those of you experiencing such negative relationships- to put an end to them.

You need to understand right now 5 things: 1) A sense of purpose is so important to have in your life its essential believe it or not for a happy relationship. 2) Your happiness and ensuring you are doing what you love in life is so important, do what sets your soul on fire, whatever that may be. 3) Don’t’ focus on physical things so much, your body isn’t here long, eventually it will wither up as time goes by and be no more, focus on your spiritual self, your energy who you truly are the person you will be forever. Focus on growing your spirit to a place of peace, wisdom, and nothing but love for those around you and for yourself- this is the experience of real happiness 4) be mindful, be aware, be open minded and be compassionate 5) love yourself, love yourself, love yourself! The most important of all 5 things you need to know.

So start now, not tomorrow, not soon, start NOW. Adding these 5 things into your life, they are life changing, transforming, following these is like being given the numbers to a winning lotto ticket, if you can live this way, you truly are winning at life and I could not express this to you more. It’s very real, very effective, and very essential for a happy relationship without negativity.

 

You can’t avoid the odd argument, the odd debate, things won’t always be perfect, but you can certainly have a relationship with so many more great times to outweigh those small petty times. 

It’s possible to turn around what feels like distrust, like sadness, like sorrow, like you’re alone to being filled with contentment and love, this is so possible and it begins my friend with a CHOICE. 

Yes, this is it. A choice you can choose yes to change or you can choose no. No is not believing, not putting in effort, being negative in your thoughts, having a negative mindset, always judging, always looking for things to be upset by, yes is appreciating the person beside you even when things are hard, looking hard and deep at why you love them the good things and focusing only on these, on being positive within your mind, opening your heart to trust to love yourself, focusing on the things you are grateful for within your life (I honestly believe above all gratitude is the number one way of all to create a positive relationship)

There is a saying I like. “A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart. For when one loves oneself, is positive deep within the soul. Only good things will happen”

You don’t need a negative relationship in your life and you certainly don’t want or deserve one, you can either choose to move on and meet someone else who will give you what you seek. But please don't feel guilty if you need time to move on everyone evolve at their own pace.  And then when you will be ready to create your own happiness with what you have got, with whom you have- Just do it because we have one life <3