Why the tinder era sucks for the 40's woman I am...

We are officially in the "Tinder" era. Back in the day, it was MSN messenger for me. Then it developed into Facebook. Then dating got fancy and introduced websites like POF and OK Cupid. Now, it's all about Tinder.

Prior online dating, we were relying on the natural way of meeting someone, which is through mutual friends or based on mere coincidences and the connection between a man and a woman was less superficial.

We often have mistaken that online dating and tinder have made it so easy for men and women to meet, socialise, have sex, whatever their goals are.

We are in the era of consumption, the more we get the more we want and online dating and dating app know how to feed our weak ego.That feeling when you get "It's a Match", it's like a bliss of euphoria! "Who could this person be?" But most of the time, you end up being disappointed and just move on to the next match.

After coming from almost two decade relationships with a small breathing time in between, and then being suddenly single; I did not know how to navigate the ‘modern dating scene’ anymore.

It seemed for me that love in the modern era was definitely trickier, muddier. Online dating has made the dating game a numbers game (and I always preferred quality over quantity). It was supposed to make things easier, but it made things harder for me at the same time. 

Everyone’s suddenly commitment-phobic, hooking up is normal, and everything is all about instant gratification. There are now several relationship statuses created by millennial dating; a spectrum of greys that were once just black-and-white: Casual dating, ‘just hanging out’, laissez-faire, FWBs, Cuddle Buddies, Hotline Blings, one-sided relationships, on-again, off-again couples… a lot of these definitely didn’t exist the last time I was last single.

And yet, people still yearn for that real connection. You can tell by the lines shared on your news feed and the number of Thought Catalog articles complaining about the same thing. We all want the same, REAL THING but everyone just pretends to not give a damn.

Modern dating is just like Game of Thrones. There’s just too many characters to keep track of, and you seriously can’t get attached to any of them, because you know nothing so good would last too long. Love in the time of tinder is a lot like love in the time of cholera.

I’m not saying finding love online is not possible. Some people swear by it. It was an easy choice to disconnect for me. 

I need that spur-of-the-moment, unpremeditated element. That real and rare connection. I need to see the madness in YOUR eyes AND WHAT MATTERS REALLY FOR ME IS … I just need to know if we’re THE SAME BRAND OF CRAZY 😊

Bonne soiree mes amis…